Wikipedia defines a funeral as a ceremony connected with the burial, cremation, etc. of the body of a dead person, or the burial (or equivalent) with the attendant observances.
Basically, it’s a service for the mortal. The entire grieving process is for us too. My father passed away yesterday. As of yesterday, the sky has fallen in my little world. Our parents are our Gods in a way. They are our creators because they literally gave us life and my life will never be the same. Losing anyone is never easy… even when it’s “expected”. My father battled with colon cancer for years. He was in and out of remission and a faithful receiver of chemotherapy and western medication. My father served in the army. He gave 20 years of his life to the government.
I love my father and I am sad that he is no longer with us. Being the child when something like this happens makes me feel helpless. I couldn’t imagine it being the other way around. We don’t discuss feelings and how these things are natural. We are human and certainly allowed to express. I went to see my father a few weeks ago. I knew (intuitively) that that would be my last time seeing him. I took 4 airplanes (connecting flights) in total, to and from Texas. I cried on every single trip, the entire time. Weeped. The craziest part about it all is that there was nothing I could do but allow the tears to flow. Crying is cleansing. Cleansing is necessary for transformation. We need to grow.
My mother laid some heavy truth on me right before my father’s passing. She told me that no one is going to be here longer than they are supposed to be. When it is our time to transition, it will happen. No one or nothing can save us from that. I believe in us taking today as the first day to take care of ourselves. We aren’t promised tomorrow at anytime. Honestly the rest of the current day may not be ours. We are so quick to judge our parents for not doing what we needed them to do. What happened to allowing our parents to be theirselves? They are simply people who had children. It is the child who puts them on a pedestal, beyond reach.
My father was not like anyone else’s father. Same with my mother and other mothers. Same with me and other children. So why do we act like it? It’s ok to have unique relationships with people. Just make sure that you are honest. So you can be yourself, comfortably. I am glad that I was able to make peace with my father for being himself. Now is the time that we begin to make arrangements; for those of us who are still here, to say our goodbyes. I use to sit and think about how I literally couldn’t imagine anything happening to my parents. Then, reality happened. We have to take care of ourselves. This is why holistic health is so important. Everything is connected in someway.
Thanks for reading.